Driven, Female & Black:Why C-Suite Life Will Make You Do Mental Gymnastics and What You Can Do About It
Working in a leadership position - especially in the C-Suite - will come with additional stress. But Black women are more likely to face more significant obstacles than their white counterparts. The statistics are uninspiring:
Black women are more likely than other women to experience disrespect
Black women are three times more likely to hear people express surprise at their language skills or other abilities
All things being equal (education, career experience, etc.), white men and women are promoted at significantly higher rates than Black women
According to an article from Black Enterprise, as of 2021, women of color only hold 1.4% of C-Suite positions. And for every 100 men promoted to manager, only 58 Black women are promoted, despite the fact that Black women ask for promotions at the same rate as men. This becomes another hurdle for Black women: the “broken rung.” As their peers climb the corporate ladder, Black women find that they are unable to be promoted into higher positions such as manager or director.
With so little representation, when Black women achieve these leadership roles, they, unfortunately, have learned how to “perform” in a specific way that may not be true to their authentic selves. Often labeled as “professionalism” in the workplace, Jodi-Anne Burey instead calls this “a distorted collaboration of white cultural norms and standards that meet the comforts of those who hold social and institutional power.”
What are mental gymnastics?
Mental gymnastics occur when “our brains spiral into destructive thought patterns” according to psychotherapist Shemena Johnson, Psy.D., L.M.F.T. You may not recognize that you are spiraling into destructive thought patterns until you begin to feel its long-term effects. This can feel like you are thinking, acting, or speaking in ways that are not authentically who you are. Do any of these feel familiar?
Self-Doubt: When Black women are in environments that negate or dismiss their contributions, it may cause them to internalize these demeaning scenarios as if something is wrong with them.
Proving one’s worth: Often there is the weight or expectation to be the best. Black women often get bogged down in the responsibility to prove or validate this point.
Exhaustion: Black women are constantly in battle against the lens of which other people perceive them.
Suppressed anger: Black women cannot afford to be quick to anger in this space; it will almost always affirm the ‘angry Black woman’ myth
Stress and burnout: Black women are stressed from both the positions they hold in leadership as well as additional microaggressions that occur due to their gender and race.
An additional burden: Black women often feel like they are navigating a field of landmines. Black women must be strategic when confronting microaggressions so that they do not make missteps that result in situations – though unprovoked – blowing up in their faces
It’s possible to feel these emotions regularly without realizing that you’re experiencing anxiety and/or depression. Many Black women, especially leaders, can continue to function and perform at a high level all the while the slow burn of anxiety or depression erodes their overall health and well being. “Think about the amount of time that you spend in spaces where you are invisible or not heard or where you have to ‘contort’ yourself or your hair to fit in,” says Dr. Rheeda Walker, author of The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health, “This demeans who you are as a beautiful spirit.”
What can you do about it?
Building a support system
According to Dr. Walker:
“Anything that is perceived as mental health-related is taboo in the Black community. To further complicate things, ‘getting help’ is seen as a weakness so folks press on even when they are struggling.”
Fortunately, there are many more resources now than there ever has been for Black women and Black communities as a whole.
In a previous blog, we discussed the importance of group therapy and sister circles. Finding your “tribe” whether in a mental health setting or a more informal space, will help you to process the complex feelings you are facing. It will also provide an outlet to actually express what you are experiencing: express your anger, express the overwhelm, etc. By taking the time to reflect and process these emotions, you give yourself the opportunity to build mental fortitude.
Perhaps you feel like you’re not ready for therapy. Don’t underestimate the power of a morning meditation, going for a long walk or just turning off your phone for an afternoon (yes, you can do that for one afternoon!). How can you take care of yourself in ways that are manageable to your already busy schedule? Remember, the work will always be there tomorrow.
Look inward for confidence
When you arrive in a position of leadership, you don't get there by chance. Not only have you worked hard intellectually to achieve your success, but you have also built resilience - whether you realize it or not - against the microaggressions and other hurdles that have stood in your way throughout your career. The strength you need to navigate this terrain is likely within you already.
According to the Harvard Business Review, “because of the frequency with which they encountered obstacles and setbacks resulting from the intersecting dynamics of race, gender, and other identities,” Black female leaders have “bounced back, refused to get distracted or derailed, and maintained forward progress.” Tap into this innate quality you already have. You’ve got this.
Looking for more support for your specific struggle? Schedule a consultation with our team today.
For more information on this topic, we recommend the following resources:
Jodi-Ann Burey, “Why you should not bring your authentic self to work” TEDxSeattle
The State of Black Women in Corporate America, LeanIn.Org
The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health by Rheeda Walker, Ph.D.
