How Anxiety Impacts Black Women & Their Relationships

Mental Health Awareness Month has been observed in the United States since 1949. That means it's been a little over 70 years since we began to publicly show support and provide education about such an important topic that impacts us all. Then, it was in 2008 (only 15 years ago) when July was designated Minority Mental Health Awareness Month. To put this in perspective, you may have parents, grandparents, or children this age. We are history in the making.

 According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 19% of adults in the United States experience anxiety disorders. With the pressures of being the anchor of the home while being underpaid and overworked in almost every area of life, Black women face a greater risk of developing anxiety disorders. 

Anxiety impacts you both internally (physically and cognitively) and externally in relationships. It may present itself differently depending on a person's background and experiences. For Black women, anxiety can manifest in unique ways like being high functioning (always “busy”) or constantly having fear or worry about small things. This is bound to impact interpersonal relationships. Let's explore how Tamara, a woman in her late 30s, is impacted by anxiety. 

Physical Symptoms

Tamara often feels tense and on edge at certain points throughout her work day. Usually before meetings with senior leadership. When it's time to give presentations, she has a racing heart, sweats, and difficulty sleeping the night before. She’s used to pushing through this, but lately, it has become much more difficult to ignore. 

Avoidance

As a result of her anxiety, Tamara avoids spending time with friends or family members by declining invitations to social events or making excuses for why she can't attend. Especially during busy seasons at work. Anxiety can make engaging with others difficult. This further isolates Tamara which leads her to feel disconnected from others, which makes anxiety symptoms worse.

Irritability

When consumed by worry, Tamara feels exhausted, leaving her feeling drained and overwhelmed at the same time. She is hypersensitive to situations that she would normally be more resilient to. Tamara finds herself snapping at a family member for asking a simple question and becoming frustrated with a friend for not understanding her struggles. She feels conflict in her relationships and a sense of guilt and shame for how she's treating others.

Perfectionism

Tamara feels pressure to excel in all areas of her life. She has both internal and external expectations that are unrealistic and based on comparisons with other people. Her chronic anxiety leads to self-doubt and a sense of limitation, hindering Tamra’s ability to cope with everyday challenges and further fueling feelings of anxiety. Tamra feels like she can’t make a mistake and is concerned about how other people will see her if she “fails”. She struggles with asking for help and delegating tasks, which increases her stress levels.

Stigma

Tamara fears what her family may think of her if she seeks counseling or psychotherapy. She’s known as the stable one. The stigma around mental health in her community doesn't help either. This prevents her from getting the support needed to manage her anxiety effectively.

How to manage anxiety in relationships? 

The best way to manage anxiety in relationships is to manage anxiety within yourself. In our blog, How Holistic Health can help Black women fight stress & Manage mental health, we discuss various ways like yoga, listening to music, and preparing a healthy meal for yourself. It’s important to examine relationships for unhealthy communication or behavior patterns that trigger debilitating anxiety. The type of anxiety that keeps the relationship from thriving. 

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It’s clear to see that anxiety can be all-consuming and even debilitating in some ways. When what is a normal human instinct meant to keep us safe from threats hijacks our life into a whirlwind of deep fear, sheer willpower is not enough to cure it. Therapy for anxiety and depression is a great way to process unresolved trauma and gain positive coping skills to manage symptoms.  

Does this sound like you? Everyone has some hesitation when starting therapy for the first time.  Share your questions with a member of our team today.