How Parentification Affects Your Relationships as an Adult
You’re always the one holding it together.
Even when no one’s holding you.
You love hard. You give generously. You show up for everyone. But deep down—you feel invisible. Unappreciated. Like you're always giving more than you get.
If relationships constantly leave you feeling drained, misunderstood, or stuck in a loop of one-sided care… the problem might not be them—it might be something rooted way deeper:
Parentification.
Let’s unpack how your childhood roles could be shaping your adult relationships—and what you can do to finally break the cycle.
What Is Parentification?
Parentification happens when a child is forced to take on adult responsibilities—emotionally, physically, or both—before they’re emotionally mature enough to handle them.
If you had to comfort your mom, mediate between arguing parents, or raise younger siblings while your own needs were neglected, you were likely parentified.
You may have been told:
“You’re so mature for your age.”
“You’re the strong one in this family.”
“We couldn’t do this without you.”
And while those words may have sounded like praise… they were really signs that your childhood was stolen.
How It Shows Up in Your Relationships Now
Parentification doesn’t disappear when you turn 18. It becomes your default mode—especially in relationships.
Here’s how:
💔 You’re drawn to people who need fixing
Because your role was always to “help,” you feel comfortable with partners or friends who are emotionally unstable, chaotic, or dependent on you for guidance and support.
🚨 You feel responsible for everyone’s emotions
If someone’s upset, you feel like it’s your job to fix it—even if you didn’t cause it. You tiptoe around conflict and internalize everyone else’s pain.
🛑 You don’t ask for help
You’re used to carrying the emotional load. You struggle to trust people with your needs. Being vulnerable feels unsafe… or like a burden.
🔄 You repeat the same toxic patterns
You attract emotionally unavailable partners. Or you become the “therapist friend” in every dynamic. You give, give, give—and feel depleted.
😶 You silence your own needs
Because you weren’t allowed to have needs as a child, you now suppress them. You may not even know what you want in a relationship—only what the other person needs.
You Deserve Love That Doesn’t Cost You Yourself
The truth is—what helped you survive back then is hurting you now.
You don’t have to earn love by being useful. You don’t have to fix anyone to be worthy of connection. You don’t have to carry the emotional weight of every relationship.
At Myers-Galloway Counseling, we help women—especially Black women—unpack these hidden wounds so you can finally create relationships that are safe, mutual, and soul-nourishing.
Through Parentification Therapy, you will:
Learn to name your own needs without guilt
Set and maintain boundaries that protect your peace
Heal from emotional over-responsibility
Rebuild trust in yourself and your intuition
Stop over-giving and start receiving with ease
Because love shouldn’t leave you depleted. It should feel like rest.
💭 Final Thought
You don’t have to shrink, sacrifice, or solve to be loved.
You get to choose relationships where you’re safe, supported, and seen—just as you are.
Let us help you get there.
Ready to Stop Overfunctioning in Your Relationships?
🖤 Book your FREE Phone Consultation today. Let’s talk about what you need for once. 👉🏽 Schedule your appointment
🎥 Watch the full episode on Youtube, where we share what it really looks like to live under the pressure of being the go-to person—and how to break free from that identity.