8 Ways Black Women Can Have Balance Between Self-Care and Responsibility

By Montina Myers-Galloway

Let’s be honest, you are afraid of being abandoned and rejected if you are not available to others every time they need you.

From the issues with your parents to the issues with your kids, you can’t see how it’s even possible to put yourself first. The guilt you feel is just taking over.

But imagine living your life in a way that honors your own wants, needs, and desires while at the same time having healthier and deeper relationships. Finding a balance between self care and the level of responsibility to take in the lives of others, is an important component of a happier life.

You are surrounded by people (young and old) who seem to be unable to do ANYTHING for themselves. There seems to be a never ending supply of empathy and compassion for them. You can't help but to try and “save” them. It’s not about being someone's “savior”. That's actually not possible. You want others to feel empowered enough to take responsibility for themselves and their own destiny.

In this article, we are going to talk about eight ways to have balance between self care and responsibility in your life.

1. Identify what or who is draining your energy

Understanding what drains your energy is crucial for creating balance. It can be certain tasks, people, or environments, identifying these energy drainers allows you to set boundaries and manage your energy more effectively. Reflect on your daily activities and interactions to pinpoint where you feel most exhausted or stressed. Once identified, consider how you can reduce or eliminate these drains, delegate tasks, or limit time spent in draining environments.

2. Understand and accept what self care really is

Self-care is more than just pampering yourself; it’s about nurturing your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It involves regular practices that sustain and enhance your health, such as proper nutrition, exercise, adequate sleep, and mental health care. Accepting self-care as a necessity, not a luxury, shifts your perspective and reinforces the importance of prioritizing your needs. Embrace self-care as a critical component of your routine, essential for maintaining balance and well-being.

3. Practice self awareness through consistent reflection

Regular self-reflection helps you stay in tune with your needs, emotions, and goals. By taking time each day or week to reflect on your experiences, you gain insight into what’s working and what needs adjustment. Journaling, meditation, or simply setting aside quiet time for thought can enhance self-awareness. This practice allows you to make informed decisions about how to balance responsibilities and self-care, ensuring you remain aligned with your values and priorities. One way to encourage self reflection is to subscribe to The Responsible One newsletter. It is your personal resource for improving your sense of self so you can have a better quality of life and better relationships. Every month we teach you how to stop people pleasing for acceptance, learn to use your voice, put a stop to toxic relationship patterns, and choose freedom instead of a life driven by fear.

4. Envision and write down the type of life you want

Visualization is a powerful tool for creating change. By clearly envisioning the life you desire, you set a direction for your actions and decisions. Write down your vision in detail, including your goals for work, relationships, health, and personal growth. This written vision serves as a roadmap, guiding you in making choices that support your desired lifestyle. Regularly reviewing and updating your vision keeps you focused and motivated.

5. Embrace saying NO….and mean it

Learning to say no is essential for maintaining balance. It’s about protecting your time and energy, ensuring you have the capacity to meet your own needs. Saying no doesn’t mean you’re selfish; it means you’re prioritizing your well-being. Practice saying no politely but firmly, without guilt. Over time, this will become easier, and you’ll find you have more time and energy for the things that truly matter to you.

6. Create restorative practices

Incorporating restorative practices into your routine helps replenish your energy and reduce stress. These practices can include activities like yoga, meditation, nature walks, reading, or hobbies that bring you joy. Find what activities make you feel relaxed and rejuvenated, and make them a regular part of your schedule. Restorative practices are essential for maintaining your physical, emotional, and mental health.

7. Let others do small things for you

Allowing others to help you is a form of self-care. It reduces your burden and fosters a sense of community and support. Whether it’s letting a colleague take on a task, asking a friend for a favor, or allowing family members to pitch in, accepting help can lighten your load. It also gives others the opportunity to contribute and feel valued, strengthening your relationships.

8. Find small ways to prioritize yourself

Small, consistent actions can make a big difference in prioritizing yourself. This can be as simple as taking a few minutes each morning for quiet reflection, scheduling regular breaks during your workday, or treating yourself to something enjoyable each week. These small acts of self-care accumulate, contributing to your overall well-being and helping you maintain balance in your life.

So why continue to sacrifice yourself because of others when you can truly live a more fulfilling life? Therapy could provide the new perspective that you need. It’s more than just someone to talk to, it's where transformation happens.

So knowing what to do in order to have balance between self care and responsibility is one thing, but actually implementing the changes in your life is another. But don’t worry we are here to help you.

I’m Montina, and I understand where you are.

I understand the struggle of being “The Responsible One” and not getting all that you need from relationships.

That's why I founded Myers-Galloway Counseling, a place where Black women like you can learn to manage your mental health and thrive in life and relationships. My passion for helping Black women find and use their voice to create change in life is what drives me. We offer more than just one on one psychotherapy sessions; we provide the support you need to take control of your life.

Book My FREE Phone Consultation

Benefits of Parentification Therapy

Less negative thinking patterns

Therapy provides strategies to help you become aware of your thoughts without getting caught up in them

Improved emotional regulation skills

Therapy encourages healthy emotional expression, helping you communicate your feelings effectively

Less sadness, tearfulness and loneliness

Therapy is a place for your emotions to be validated and to help you feel heard and understood

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“{My Therapist} has had a significant impact on the way that my fiancé and I communicate. We were able to have tough conversations during our sessions, and then do the work to intentionally create those same spaces in our home. We both felt very comfortable with {our therapist} and she has given us many tools to continue the work on ourselves and our relationship.“
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"I don't have to worry about judgement."

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"My happiness now comes from within"

“Before I began therapy with Montina I was in a place in my life where I didn’t trust anyone and felt hopeless. This included family and friend relationships. I hadn’t forgiven my father for wrongdoings in the past and I wasn’t sure how I would forgive him. With the help of Montina, I am figuring out how to love again, how to trust again, but most importantly, how to trust myself and God again. It feels amazing. And my happiness now comes from within. She taught me how to stay in the moment and practical things I could do to keep my thoughts in the moment. I am so grateful for Montina and would recommend her to ANYONE!”
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How Parentification Therapy Works

Click HERE to learn more about Infiniti, who specializes in parentification issues within couples and families. Montina is currently not accepting new clients.
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